Question-AnswersCategory: marriagecan-someone-accept-the-truth-to-save-marriage
Mamun R asked 2 years ago

Assalamu Alaykum Sheikh,   Hope this email finds you blessed and well. With due respect, I’m not intended to mention my name. I have two questions to you regarding a dilemma of life or test of life, I’m facing right now.   By the grace of benevolent Allah, I started a happy married life at the end of last year. I chose my wife based on her Deen (as she studied in Madrasah). Everything was so great Alhamdulillah that I can’t even express.  But my life was shattered when she confessed to me about her pre-marital physical relationship. She also told me that she was involved in “Jina” multiple times and her ex-boyfriend has nude photos of her in his mobile phone. I didn’t expect that coming. She told me that she repented and never went back to it. Only Allah knows the best! I believed her and accepted her past. However, some of her activities over time, as dancing in front of non-mahrams, hanging out with them and chatting about indecent topics with them made me feeling insecure. I sought patience and help from Allah and cried in silent day-and-night.  My father understood something is wrong with me and insisted me to tell him what happened. I couldn’t hold my grudge and told him about her pre-marital relationship. He was so angry and told me to go for a separation. I convinced him that she repented. But he wasn’t convinced enough and proposed that if my wife confess and make a tawba in front of her father and my father privately, the he would gonna forgive her. And my father eventually told her dad about the situation. Hearing the allegations, her father was so angry and adamant to believe that his daughter couldn’t do this as she had an immaculate Islamic background. Her dad started saying to everyone that my father was spreading rumour about her daughter. She was asked about this by her parents and she denied. She told me that exposing sin what Allah concealed is haram. Our marriage and the family relationships are at stake at this point due to this.   Now, is it permissible for her to accept the truth in front of her father to restore peace and save our marriage?   If she don’t, what should I do right now? I loved her for the sake of Allah with full of my heart. So, I don’t wanna leave her. On the other hand, the honour of my father is diminished. I ain’t helping him out knowing that what he’s saying is the truth.   Looking forward to hearing from you soon.   Regards, Consumed by sorrow

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