1 – Make her feel secure- don’t joke about divorcing her, this will put a hole in your marriage.
2 – Always greet her whenever you arrive
3 – Your wife is a fragile vessel so take care of her- In this vessel there is a lot of goodness so treat her in a gentle manner.
4 – Advice her in privacy and the best timing. Don’t advice her in the presence of others, it can be a type of humility
5 – Be generous with her
6 – Move out of your way for her, when she’s coming to sit get up and let her sit on your seat tell her: ‘here honey sit I warmed up the seat for you’
7 – Avoid anger.
8 – Look good for her and smell great.
9 – Don’t be rigid, you will broken- just because you are a man doesn’t mean you have to be harsh hearted
10 – Be a good listener
11 – Say yes for flattering and no for arguing.
12 – Call your wife with the best names she likes to hear. i.e: the prophet (Saw) used to call Aisha- A’ish!
13 – Surprise her secretly. Ex: Bring her a watermelon when it’s not the season of watermelons. Pick and choose in surprising her, be an artist in surprising her pleasantly
14 – Preserve the tongue
15 – Accept her shortcomings/ everyone has one
16 – Show your appreciation to her
17 – Encourage her to be in touch with her kin relations
18 – Speak topics of her interest.
19 – Speak of her goodness in the presence of others
20 – Shower her with gifts. The prophet (saw) said: give gifts and you’ll love each other’ MML It’s doesn’t matter how cheap or expensive the gift is, it’s the thought that counts!
21 – Get rid of the same old routine once in a while, scrub the rust. Ex: Buy her ticket to a vacation cruise or something that she will enjoy.
22 – Think good of her- husn althan-
23 – Ignore some of the words/actions you don’t like
24 – Add a drop of patience- It can go a long way- i.e: at her time of pregnancy, menses…etc
25 – Expect and respect her jealousy.
26 – Be humble
27 – Don’t put a price on her happiness.
28 – Help her around household chores just like the prophet (saw) did.
29 – You can’t force her to love her in laws, but help her respect and love your parents.
30 – Show her that she is an ideal wife; each and every wife is an ideal wife in many ways, so make her feel that.
31 – Make dua’a for her and always remember her in your dua’as
32 – Leave her past to Allah swt
33 – Don’t show her that you are doing favors by doing your duties
34 – Shaytaan/Satan is your enemy NOT your wife!
35 – When eating, don’t only feed yourself, feed her TOO! – Not only does it go to the stomach but to the heart too.
36 – Look at her as a precious pearl, treat her and take care of her like a precious pearl
37 – Speaking of pearlsà show her YOUR pearlsà SMILE! Don’t put your smile out-of-service when you reach home! Don’t be rigid, smiling is Sadaqah
38 – Don’t hold grudges. Deal with the littlest matters and don’t ignore them, it will build up and will create a wall between you and your wife.
39 – Avoid being harsh hearted and moody.
40 – Respect her thinking; her thinking strengthens you.
41 – Help her discover/develop her skills and her success within
42 – Respect the boundaries of the intimate relationship- it’s a fragile matter.
43 – Help her with the children; it’s not only her job it’s yours too!
44 – Complement her!-give her the gifts of the tongues-
45 – Don’t be a stranger to her meals, know your wife’s meals, and eat her food.
46 – Let her know when you are traveling don’t just disappear, and also let her know about your arrival.
47 – When arguments arise, deal with it and don’t run away from it.
48 – Don’t share your home secrets with your friends. Keep your privacy, and don’t make it a garage sale.
49 – Encourage each other to worship/obey Allah swt – Go for umrah together, listen to a lecture/recitation.-
50- Engrave her rights in your heart and in your conscious
51 – Treat her with kindness through happiness and sorrow
52 – Don’t jump on your wife like a ball!, in fact polish your love with many kisses- A kiss is a messenger- alqubulah rasool
53 – When disputes happen between you and your wife, don’t go and share it with the whole world.-don’t leave your wounds open for the germs-
54 – Show her that you care for her health.
55 – Don’t think that you are right all the time!-No one Is perfect but the prophet (saw)-
56 – Share you happiness and sorrow with her.
57 – Have mercy on her.
58 – Be the shoulder she can lean on!
59 – Accept her as is, she’s a bent rib so don’t try to straighten it.
*Side note: A dear friend once said: “a bent rib cannot be straightened, and in fact the beauty of it lies within its curve!”
60 – Have good intentions for your wife
